Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 1.
Peel potatoes that aren't too floury and liable to fall apart. Cut them in half (lengthways or crossways - you decide) slice the opposite side flatter, then run a peeler or a small knife around the flat parts, turning them into vaguely barrel shapes, to remove the sharp edges that might burn. Put them in a bowl of water while you heat up a baking dish just large enough to hold them, half-filled with (ideally) chicken stock and flavoured with a few herbs and garlic cloves.

Mash up some butter, crushed garlic, salt, pepper and any herbs you like. Using a dessertspoon shove the mixture between the chicken breast and skin. Season the chicken cavity, fill with herbs of any description you fancy, and close with half a lemon.
Slice up some onions and layer them in the bottom of an oven tin. Put in the chicken, breast down, season, and smear over a little more butter. Surround the chicken with a few peeled carrots (cut lengthwise or into chunks if you prefer), a tablespoonful of liquid, loosely cover with foil and put in the middle of the oven.
Put the potatoes into the baking dish so the stock almost covers them, add a generous amount of butter (at least a couple of tablespoons), cover the dish lightly with foil, and put them in the top of the oven.
Now leave them for 2 hours.

After 2 hours, turn the oven up to Gas Mark 6.
Turn the potatoes over in the stock, uncover and return to the top shelf of the oven.
Turn the chicken breast-side up, smear with a little more butter and add a little liquid if required. Return, uncovered, to the middle of the oven.

You'll need to check on them occasionally now, but the chicken should be done after about 45 minutes, at which point you can take it out to rest before carving. At this point turn the potatoes, which by now should be roasting in pure fat and let the other side crisp up. Carve the chicken, strain the juices from the roasting tin and serve together with the potatoes and carrots.

Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 5-6/190-200°C.
Beat the egg with a splash of milk a couple of tablespoons will do in a bowl.
Put the cornflakes in a hole-free plastic bag and crush them up by running a rolling pin back and forth across the bag. They need to be reasonably fine, but not dust. Empty into a bowl.
Season a little flour in another bowl.
Thoroughly dry your chicken bits. Roll each chicken bit in seasoned flour, shake off any excess, coat completely in the egg wash, shake of any excess, roll in the cornflakes to coat thoroughly, then lay on a baking tray. Drizzle with oil or butter if you like.
Bake for 30-40 minutes until cooked through.

Quarter the cabbage through the core, and then cut out the core. Cut each quarter crosswise in half and finely shred. Place the shredded cabbage in a very large bowl (you will have 6 to 8 cups).

Add the shredded carrot and parsley to the cabbage and toss to mix.

In a separate bowl, stir the mayonnaise, vinegar, mustard, celery seeds, salt, and pepper together. Taste for acidity and seasoning then adjust as desired. Add a little sugar too, if you like. Pour two-thirds of the dressing over the cabbage and carrot then mix well. (Clean hands are the quickest tool - as the actress said to the bishop!).

If the coleslaw seems dry, add a little more of the dressing. Eat right away or let it sit in the refrigerator for about an hour to let the flavors mingle and the cabbage to soften. The longer the cabbage sits in the coleslaw dressing, the softer and less crunchy it will become.

Sear the pork chops in small batches in a very hot frying pan with a little olive oil. Add a pinch or two of dried chilli flakes, if you're in the mood.
Add the tomato purée and stir around the pan until any harsh aroma has cooked off and the oil begins to separate.

Thoroughly rinse out the pan with a little reduced stock and decant everything into the slow cooker.
Season, and cook on low for 8 hours or high for 4.

Serve over pasta with grated cheese.

Fry the sausages with a generous amount of fat over a moderate heat to brown them nicely. Set them aside. Finely chop the onion and add to the pan and fry, gently, until starting to caramalize. Meanwhile heat a little oil and butter in an oven-proof pot if you plan on finishing this in the oven. Press the sprouts into the pot, cut side down, and fry over high heat until they scorch a little. Throw in the caraway seeds and the caramelized onions.
De-glaze the frying pan with apple juice or cider and chicken stock. Bubble to reduce about half, then add to the pot.
Stir the onion and sprouts and lay the sausages on top. Cover and put in a moderate Gas Mark 4 oven for 15-30 minutes or simmer for 15 minutes on the stove-top.

Stir through a couple of tablespoons of sour cream, if you like, and serve with some good German mustard and mashed potatoes.

Bring the joint up to room temperature in good time for cooking. Tie loosely with butcher's twine to help it hold its shape while roasting. Mix together 40% of the meat's weight in cane sugar and 20% in fine sea salt. Contrary to Alssandro and Fabio's instructions I added a couple of teaspoons of English mustard powder. But then I am English. Rub all over the joint, then set the joint on an oven rack to season for about 30 minutes. You'll need to put it over a dish to catch the juices which will leak off as moisture is drawn from the meat.
Pre-heat the oven to 250°C/480°F/Gas Mark 9. Basically as hot as it will go.

Drizzle the joint with olive oil and place fat-side up on a rack over an oven tray. You should probably line the oven tray with foil for ease of cleaning. Put the joint in the centre or upper half of the oven and roast for something like 15 minutes, plus 15 minutes per pound. Turn the joint occasionally and check the temperature towards the end. Remove from the oven when the centre reaches 48°C.
My 1kg joint took exactly 45 minutes.
Set aside to rest for 30-35 minutes yes, really! turning occasionally to prevent the juices inside from all settling to one side. Though I very loosely covered mine with foil, the Italians recommend not doing so. However, they also seem not to mind cold meat.
Finally, cut away the string, slice the meat thinly and serve with your sauce of choice. Horseradish cream, mustard, salsa verde, chimichurri, gribiche, bearnaise sauce, or even gravy.
(Though you'll have to make the gravy separately - you won't get any gravy juices from this topside joint - they're all still inside. Or burned!)

Peel and deseed the melon, and the courgettes if you like.
Cut up the melon, beetroot, courgette and the ham into about 1cm cubes. Mix with the sweetcorn chopped red pepper and broccoli or cauliflower florets are also acceptable additions.

Mince or mash the anchovies and shake up with the citrus juice, vinegar and Worcestershire sauce.
Add as much finely grated parmesan as the mixture will reasonably absorb, then add a couple of tablespoons of mayonnaise and a glug of olive oil to thicken the mixture.
Spice it up with a little horseradish or mustard. If you like.

Serve the dressed salad over torn lettuce or rocket leaves.

Peel the melon and avocado and remove their seeds or stones. Slice them both evenly into the same generous thickness.
Alternate the slices on serving plates, drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, scatter with chopped coriander leaves and bacon bits and serve with a decoratively cut tomato.