Start the butter melting in a small pot over a very gentle heat.
Break in the eggs and continually whisk them, or fold them gently with a plastic spatula if you prefer your eggs more curdy, but don't take your eyes off them for a second.
Once they've thickened to your satisfaction remove from the heat and blend in some plain yoghurt or mayonnaise or some crème fraîche if you're posh. Not too much though, or the eggs don't cohere. A little gives a nice tang .
The Eldorado girls like cheesy eggs, so add the grated cheese once the eggs are cooked and stir it in, or season with some salt
You can also add chopped ham, chives and chopped tomatoes at the end, which works nicely providing you don't overcook the tomato to make the eggs all weepy.

Slice the bacon into lardons, chop the avocado into short sticks, press the garlic, grate the parmesan.
Boil up the pasta.
Fry the bacon in olive oil until golden, add pressed garlic towards the end.
Whisk up the eggs with the cream.
Drain the cooked pasta, drizzle with olive oil, return to the pot. Add the bacon, avocado, eggs and cream and stir well.
Season and serve with the parmesan.

Halve and slice the onion. Add sliced garlic if you're feeling adventurous and the girlies aren't watching. Heat loads of oil in a frying pan and gently fry the onions until soft. Meanwhile slice the potatoes and add them to the pan. Add plenty of salt - this dish needs a lot. Cover and fry until the potatoes are softening, but don't brown too much. Whisk the eggs and pour over the potatoes. Jiggle the pan to mix, cover and cook until the egg is set through and has browned on the bottom and separated from the pan. Flip the tortilla (using a plate or two if you're weak) and brown the second side uncovered. Tip out onto a chopping board and cut into delicious slices. Pack in plastic box. Take on picnic.